You Are Tougher Than You Think, by Dr. Jim Lockard

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as true strength."

~ Ralph W. Sockman

In the Cambridge English Dictionary, toughness is defined as the quality of being not easily defeated or made weaker or the quality of being determined or severe. We might identify toughness as the externalization of inner strength. True toughness is an authentic expression based on strength. Fake toughness, like intimidating or bullying, is a false expression based on fear.

In challenging times, we may feel that we lack strength, so we withdraw from living fully. Of course, it is never true that we lack strength, as we are always fully integrated with the Divine, and Power is ours to be realized. This Power brings us strength, which allows us to be tough – to stand up to and engage with life's challenges. This Power is part of the Love of Spirit, and it is our birthright. We are never without access to this Love and its Power, although sometimes we lose sight of our capabilities.

"Love takes off the masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within. I use the word love here not merely in a personal sense but as a state of being, or a state of grace . . . in the tough and universal sense of quest and daring and growth."

~ James Baldwin

True strength can be gentle, it is gentle by default, but that strength, coming from Love, can also be ferocious when defending what is of value. A mother defending her young with ferocity, something we see as so inherent in nature, is expressing a quality that is also in every human being. We have inner resources that, if called upon, are more than sufficient for any earthly situation in which we find ourselves.

Often, we learn this important lesson when we fail at something or are pushed to our limits. We find access to inner reserves that have not been called forth before. There is an opportunity for a greater realization of our inner strengths in every challenge we face, and the bigger the challenge, the bigger the opportunity.

"When looking back at your life, you will see that the moments which seemed to be great failures followed by wreckage were the incidents that shaped the life you have now. You'll see that this is really true. Nothing can happen to you that is not positive. Even though it looks and feels at the moment like a negative crisis, it is not. The crisis throws you back, and when you are required to exhibit strength, it comes."

~ Joseph Campbell

When things feel overwhelming, when we feel inadequate to what life is presenting to us, it is important that we remember who we are. Every time we stand up to what we fear, we build spiritual muscle for the next time. That spiritual muscle comes from the realization of our natural spiritual connection to something greater. Infinite Spirit has already provided whatever we need to call upon from within ourselves. Our job is to develop a greater realization of Spiritual Truth through our daily practices and learn from our challenges, stepping into them not fearlessly but courageously.

I encourage you to heed these powerful words of Ernest Holmes – build your confidence, realize your strength, and express your toughness with love and compassion, but also with firm boundaries.

"Developing confidence in ourselves, in our ability to meet and handle all undesirable situations, requires that we must have confidence in that Something which is greater than we are. Then we will have spiritual self-reliance. When this is done, the lesser must always submit to the greater. Weakness will give way to strength, despair will turn to hope, hate will become love, failure will become success, and sickness will dissolve into health. The action that takes place is not one of despotic or overruling harshness, but one that moves in harmony, love, beauty, warmth, and order, quietly transforming all that is unlike it."

~ Ernest Holmes