Often, the reason we cannot find win-win solutions is because we have not looked for them, because deep down many do not believe it is possible. We have accepted the win-lose paradigm as normal.
Where we often get stuck is in the realm of form, or, really, our attachment to forms. We frame solutions in terms of one form as opposed to another form. A simple example would be where one group wants to paint a wall green, while another wants to paint it blue. This would be a seemingly intractable situation, with no apparent solution.
Release Attachment to Form
But the moment we release attachment to form (the color preference for the wall) and ask what is it that you value that leads you to want a green wall or a blue wall, our possibilities expand.
Perhaps the group that wants blue says, “We value the earth and blue, to us, represents the pristine ocean.” The group that wants green says, “We value vibrant life, and green represents trees that provide oxygen for all of us to live.”
In this simple example, we can now move beyond form and can move to values. The values of the two groups are the earth and vibrant life. We can easily conceive of many solutions that include both of those values. For example, they could paint the wall blue and add some trees to the room, or they could paint the wall green and hang a prominent painting featuring the ocean, in each case including both values.
While this simple example is easily resolved with this approach, let us test it with a real-world, seemingly complex issue. In the United States, it is said that Democrats value social programs while Republicans value fiscal responsibility. In looking for win-win, is it not easily conceivable to develop social programs that meet the value of fiscal responsibility?
Then, it becomes a creativity challenge, where we tap into the unlimited creativity that resides within each one of us to create solutions that incorporate the values of all stakeholders.
While this approach does not guarantee it will be easy, it does provide a path for allowing everyone to win. Now, let us roll up our sleeves, let go of win-lose ways of thinking, and allow the creativity to flow. A world that works for everyone is right there for us to have.
by Rev. Gregory Toole
Rev. Gregory Toole is an ordained minister with Centers for Spiritual Living. He is the Senior Minister for Centers for Spiritual Living, Antelope Valley and Bakersfield in California. Gregory is the Founder of Somseva whose mission is to inspire authentic, compassionate relationships through spiritual education, tools, and practices that promote peacemaking and conscious action. He is also the author of the book, A Simple Guide to Planetary Transformation.
But the moment we release attachment to form (the color preference for the wall) and ask what is it that you value that leads you to want a green wall or a blue wall, our possibilities expand.
Perhaps the group that wants blue says, “We value the earth and blue, to us, represents the pristine ocean.” The group that wants green says, “We value vibrant life, and green represents trees that provide oxygen for all of us to live.”
In this simple example, we can now move beyond form and can move to values. The values of the two groups are the earth and vibrant life. We can easily conceive of many solutions that include both of those values. For example, they could paint the wall blue and add some trees to the room, or they could paint the wall green and hang a prominent painting featuring the ocean, in each case including both values.
While this simple example is easily resolved with this approach, let us test it with a real-world, seemingly complex issue. In the United States, it is said that Democrats value social programs while Republicans value fiscal responsibility. In looking for win-win, is it not easily conceivable to develop social programs that meet the value of fiscal responsibility?
Then, it becomes a creativity challenge, where we tap into the unlimited creativity that resides within each one of us to create solutions that incorporate the values of all stakeholders.
While this approach does not guarantee it will be easy, it does provide a path for allowing everyone to win. Now, let us roll up our sleeves, let go of win-lose ways of thinking, and allow the creativity to flow. A world that works for everyone is right there for us to have.
by Rev. Gregory Toole
Rev. Gregory Toole is an ordained minister with Centers for Spiritual Living. He is the Senior Minister for Centers for Spiritual Living, Antelope Valley and Bakersfield in California. Gregory is the Founder of Somseva whose mission is to inspire authentic, compassionate relationships through spiritual education, tools, and practices that promote peacemaking and conscious action. He is also the author of the book, A Simple Guide to Planetary Transformation.
Yes! Beautiful. ♥
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